No one Heals Me Like You
by demeter18
Summary: What if Peyton leaves Tree Hill for 2 years? Luke marries Lindsey. Will Peyton be back or will her travels take her to places she wants to stay in? Naley, Peyton, Lucas and Brooke-the couples will be revealed. Just a short 3 or 4 parter.
1. Open Hearts & Shuttered Regrets

**A/N:** **_S and I have decided to challenge one another's writing abilities by giving each other 2 challenges a month. This is my second challenge that unfortunately Sheena wasn't able to do-she got mega busy and didn't have the time. This is what I wrote and it took on a life of it's own, it will be a 3 or 4 parter-I hope you guys like it. Sheena is truly a masterful storyteller and it has been my privilege to know her and call her my friend. So I'm dedicating this one story to her. For you S, because you have given me confidence in my own ability and because you have helped to shape my writing._**

**Chapte****r 1, Open Hearts & Shuttered Regrets**

'No one heals me like you do'

This line from the Sheryl Crow song 'I Shall Believe', echoed around Peyton's office as she sat in front of her laptop contemplating a future that didn't include Luke. It had been almost four years since she had been with him in that way, in the way that healed her soul and made her believe in the greatness that was locked within her. She sat alone, lazily sketching a drawing of a moment in time that reminded her of why she was now all-alone.

The sketch consisted of Luke walking away-plane ticket in hand and a sleeping Peyton with a CD she had made lying next to her head. The caption read, 'People Leave, sometimes they don't come back….' She didn't feel relief at drawing this, all she felt was regret for not having the courage to say yes instead of someday. Her mind cast back over and over to that moment, it had changed her life in every way and nothing had been the same since.

What ifs? Echoed in her mind constantly, What if she had told him sooner when they were back in high school that she wanted him? What if she never went to LA? What if she had been brave enough to talk to him at the book signing? What if she had come home sooner? Peyton's heart had never been conflicted when it came to how she felt about Luke, it was her mind that had tortured her, her insecurities had become the focal point, she needed to know that she could make it on her own. It was only when it was too late that she realised she didn't want to make it on her own if Luke couldn't share it with her.

Almost four years later she was still in love with him, not the idea of him, but him. When she envisaged her future all she saw was him and their child, he or she would have curly blond hair and the bluest eyes, they would be kind and well loved. Their child would never know the pain of losing a parent; they would be brought up in a two-parent family that consisted of many uncles and aunts. They would be loved, every day. Peyton felt the tears well behind her eyes as she tried her best not to let that dream slip through her fingers.

Her phone rang inside her handbag, Peyton fished around inside her bag and finally found it, and Brooke was calling her.

'Hello'

'Hey best friend, where are you?' Brooke's cheery voice broke the melancholy that had descended over the room.

'I'm still at the studio, I have a couple more things to finish, and then I'm going to go for a drive-clear the cobwebs away'. Peyton didn't feel like heading home just yet, she needed to shake it off; being around Brooke right now would be more of a chore than a pleasure.

'Is everything ok Peyt? You sound upset. I'm worried about you'. Brooke could almost taste the unhappiness in her best friend's voice, she knew she was hurting and that in typical Peyton fashion she would keep it to herself and deal with it alone.

'I'm ok; I have a lot on my mind at the moment. Mia's new album needs to be brainstormed, so when she's done with her promo tour I'm going to go away for a month or so and just relax. I need to not be here anymore, I just need to feel like I can breathe again'. Peyton sighed heavily and a few tears slipped down her face, she hastily brushed them away.

'Ok Peyt, just don't be out long, I'll be up when you get in ok? I think we should talk about this, I don't want you dealing with it all on your own ok?'. Brooke wanted to take care of her friend and she knew left to her own devices Peyton would put on a brave face whilst inwardly she fell apart.

'Will do, but I gotta go ok. I'll be home soon. Thanks Brooke, for always taking care of me. I love you best friend'. Peyton smiled through her tears and they said their goodbyes.

Open hearts and shuttered regrets, this thought alone thundered through her mind, if only she had been braver, Peyton knew the futility of thinking this way but she couldn't help it. Her real dreams were just that dreams, it didn't really matter how successful she became with her music label, she still wouldn't have her heart's desire and that thought more than any other killed her a little inside.

Peyton put her phone on silent and dropped it back into her handbag, she needed to get out of there, she didn't want to sit alone and brood about everything that couldn't be. She jumped up, grabbed her bag and strode over to her office door. She locked it behind her and quickly made her way through Tric, she nodded at Chase and gave him a small smile as she left through the side door. Once outside she took deep breaths and allowed her eyes to settle on her car directly below her. She took the steps two at a time and quickly slid behind the wheel. She turned the music on and let it wash over her and soothe her, she drove all night, and she went nowhere and everywhere. She got so caught up in driving to nowhere that the hours passed quickly.

She looked at her watch and noticed it was 2am; she was parked outside the River court she opened the door and stepped out of the car. She strode over to the bleachers and took a seat, she put her ear buds in and scrolled through until she found an album she loved. She lay on her back and let the music fill her soul.

She closed her eyes and felt her mind let go, her healing process had begun, it would be a long hard process but she refused to be a broken version of herself-she had been through too much to allow that to happen.

She didn't know how long she had been lying across the bottom seat of the bleachers but when she opened her eyes Luke was stood over her a small smile playing across his lips. She blinked in surprise and sat up, the music had stopped playing and she nervously pulled her jacket tighter around her thin frame.

'Hey Blondie, what's got you out so late?' Luke smiled at her and took a seat next to her.

She turned to face him and shrugged her shoulders.

'Just needed some place to think and not be interrupted'. She looked at him and felt her heart tighten, he looked just the same as always, he had a basketball tucked between his feet and had a simple blue button down shirt on over a white wife beater. His hair was gelled into spikes and he looked adorably cute, she ached for him, for them to be an us. She didn't want to feel this way and she knew that it would only get harder the longer she stayed in town.

Lucas chuckled at her and asked her if she wanted to talk.

'Sure, but I warn you now it's been a long day and I feel tired'. Peyton looked at him and sighed inwardly, this was torture for her; it felt like high school all over again.

'What's going on with you Peyt?' Luke could tell that she was upset about something he could see it in the smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, and he could feel it in the air that hung between them, it was thick with the tinge of sadness.

She sighed again and debated whether or not to tell him what was really going on, she didn't know if it would help or hinder her at this point.

'I don't know what to say Luke, how did we get here? I mean I remember being so fearless, like I could conquer the world. Now I just feel tired and God it's just such an effort to do anything, simple things like putting a smile on and pretending that everything is fine. I just feel so disconnected from all of this, I told Brooke I'm leaving, and I'll be gone for a while. I just can't do this anymore, I can't breathe here, I feel like I'm drowning, I need some time to figure things out and then I'll come back'. Peyton spoke quietly and swallowed the lump that formed in her throat at the thought of all she would be leaving behind.

They chatted for a while longer and then Peyton said goodbye to Luke and walked home. Brooke was fast asleep. Peyton spent the next few days packing up her life in Tree Hill and interviewing her replacement; it took a surprisingly small amount of time to get everything in place. There were tearful goodbyes and Peyton promised that this wasn't goodbye but merely I'll be seeing you.

Peyton had been gone for two years; she had been everywhere and nowhere. She had stayed in Vancouver for six months and rented a place neat Kitsilano Beach, she had taken moonlit strolls and sipped wine on her deck. She had painted and sketched in her sunroom and blared music loudly from her speakers. Brooke had even come out and stayed with her a few times. She had been updated on news from back home and was told that Lucas had married Lindsey 3 months after she left. Peyton had known about the wedding but just couldn't bring herself to attend it; she had sent them a wedding gift. She had drawn them a picture of the book signing, with a proud and smiling Lucas standing centre stage and off to the left was Lindsey looking on with love in her eyes at the budding young author in the making. Peyton had felt conflicted about sending the painting but realized that it wasn't about her or how she felt anymore-she did it for Luke because she knew how much it would mean to him.

He sent her a letter thanking her for the gift and saying he was sad to not see her at the wedding but that he understood why she hadn't been able to make it. Peyton had cried when she read the letter, he had been sweet and kind and wished her well in her travels and he hoped that one day she would come back.

Peyton moved on from her place in Vancouver and went down to Mexico, she felt like she needed a change of scene and she really loved the laid back atmosphere of being in a city where no one knew her. It felt refreshing to walk down the street anonymously and find little bars tucked away in side streets where colourful characters inhabited the bar stools and held court at night when a band began to play. She would order a whiskey and perch herself on a bar stool and just drink it all in.

It was on one of these particular evenings where she met Justin, he was the bass guitarist for a band that had played a kick arse set that night. He had smiled at her throughout his band's opening song and she had felt little butterfly wings stirring in the pit of her stomach. He had smouldering brown eyes and curly black hair; he was sex in every sense of the word. He had broad shoulders and a hunky yet toned body, he wore his leather jacket like it was some sort of badge of honour, he was badass, he was everything in a guy that Peyton usually shied away from.

He was wrong for her in all the right ways and it was lust at first sight, he confidently walked over to where she was sitting and offered to buy her a drink.

She smirked at him and said, 'Scotch neat-make it a double'.

He smiled at her and ordered one for himself.

'Hi, I'm Justin and I can see by your drink that you are not a shy person. What brings you out here to a place like this?' He looked at her and down through her, taking in the light blonde curls and the quirked eyebrow, he looked at her long tanned legs and felt a small smile creep over his features.

'Eyes up here, I'm Peyton and this is somewhere I come often'. She liked the direct and sexy confidence he exuded, he openly checked her out and didn't bat an eyelash when she called him on it. He was everything Luke wasn't and that made him all the more appealing, she wouldn't be constantly reminded of something she couldn't have.

In fact, Peyton liked herself a bit of a bad boy, it felt really fucking good to be attracted to someone who wasn't really her type at all but somehow ended up being just exactly what she needed. They flirted at the bar and left a few drinks later, he took her hand inside his own and shrugged his jacket off and placed it carefully around her when he saw her shivering. He was unexpected and sweet, he said what he meant and did what he said, he didn't play games with her and make promises he couldn't keep, and he was almost perfect.

They walked along chatting about favourite bands and songs that changed their life, he told her stories of his band, he was funny and cute and adorably enticing. They ended up outside her hacienda and he kissed her chastely on the cheek and told her he would see her tomorrow for lunch. She smiled and nodded and quickly shut the door behind her.

'Brooke, it's Peyton listen I know it's late but I think I might have met someone'. Peyton left Brooke a message and waited for her best friend to call her back, she knew it wouldn't take long for her gossipy sidekick to pick up the phone and return the call. Sure enough not five minutes later, Brooke's raspy and excited voice could be heard down the phone.

'Peyton please tell me this is not a joke, tell me all about him, how you met, what he's like, have you guys slept together yet'. Brooke rushed on, the questions tripping over themselves in her eagerness to get them all out. Peyton couldn't help but laugh,

'I met him tonight, he's from Texas, but he lives all over. He's a Bass guitarist for this incredible band that I think I might sign to my label-they have this raw and gritty sound that just speaks to me. He's great Brooke, he's sexy, smart and he has similar taste in music to me. I'm seeing him tomorrow, and no we haven't had sex yet-I'm not a slut Brooke. I like to at least know the guys last name before we fall into bed.' Peyton laughed and joked around with Brooke and got herself caught up on everything that was going on back home.

Brooke asked her if she was gonna be home for her birthday, they hadn't seen each other in a couple of months and she missed her fake blonde goldilocks. Peyton laughed and they chatted for a few minutes until Peyton felt her lids begin to droop. She said goodbye and told Brooke she would think about coming home but she didn't know for sure yet.

Peyton woke up with a smile behind her eyes and a lightness to her step, the sun was peeking in through the blinds on the windows, she shuffled out of her bed and put some coffee on, she never felt herself until she had at least one cup of coffee simmering through her veins.

Two cups of coffee and a shower later Peyton felt ready to face the day, she set her laptop in the table in her living room and e-mailed Mia her ideas for artwork on her new album. Haley had been producing the latest album in Peyton's absence and they had a video conference at least once a day, before she had left Peyton had hired someone to run the day-to-day office stuff and left Haley in overall charge. It had worked out really well Haley really liked the girl Peyton had hired and the three of them somehow managed to recruit new bands and produce albums even with Peyton being absent.

She heard a knock on her door several hours later and said her goodbyes to Haley and told her she might be flying back to Tree Hill with some new talent and for Brooke's birthday. Haley squealed in excitement and told her she was looking forward to seeing her. She got up from the table and went to her front door, Justin's smiling face greeted her, and he held a small bunch of flowers in his hand and pressed them into hers.

'Hey Peyton, as promised I am here at your service to whisk you away on an adventure. Stop whatever you're doing, bring a jacket and some comfy shoes, today is all about having some fun'. Justin stood there looking at her and Peyton smiled and ushered him inside.

She put the flowers in a vase and grabbed a jacket and shoved her feet into some comfy shoes, Justin stood in her living room he took in his surroundings, there was artwork scattered here and there on the walls-it looked amazing and he smiled inwardly. Peyton Sawyer was a woman of mystery, she was someone he wanted to get to know better, and there was just something about her that intrigued him. He had been hooked from the moment they locked eyes, he had felt something shift within him and he knew she was important somehow-like she would be the one to change his ways.

They got onto his motorbike, he handed Peyton a helmet and told her to hold on tight, before she had a chance to protest the engine roared to life, he kicked off from the road. Peyton quickly wrapped her arms around his mid riff and pressed her lithe frame up against his back, she breathed in his scent it was a mixture of dusty music albums and honey-he smelt amazing. Peyton smiled and closed her eyes, she could feel the wind on her face and the air rushing past her, it felt a lot like freedom and a little bit like hope. She kinda loved having that heady mix swirling inside her, perhaps Justin would be the guy she could be reckless with, and maybe his being here with her was so that she could know she wasn't broken.

'Hey, where are we going Justin?'. Peyton had leant in close and brushed her lips against his ear as she shouted the question, he had slowed the bike to a stop and pulled into the side. They were outside a fairly non-descript shop, a couple of men were outside, cigarettes dangling from the corners of their mouths, their skin was baked almost mahogany in the Mexican sun. There was a distinctly laid back atmosphere, no one was in a rush, Peyton liked this place it was definitely somewhere she could see herself hanging out.

Justin took her small hands inside his much larger calloused ones and they walked into the building, as soon as they were inside she realised the outside façade was just that, the building needed to look fairly run down perhaps in order to deter thieves. The room had a bar on one side that was gleaming from the polish, there were rally car pictures hung all over the walls, and the hardwood floor was smooth and worn. Peyton cast her eye further into the interior and that's when she saw what Justin had in mind.

There were ten dune buggies all parked neatly in a row, a corrugated iron roof protected them from overheating and you could see that there were large doors that secured the vehicles in at night. Peyton snorted in laughter, not a big loud snort but a small one that was quickly followed up with a squeal of delight.

'We're going dune riding? Oh man, I always wanted to try that but never actually got around to it' Peyton couldn't quite believe how spontaneous and fun this guy was, he just didn't do anything normal. Usually first dates were dinner and a walk, Justin took her dune riding. And wouldn't you know, it was a pretty fucking awesome first date, it definitely beat a romantic dinner and a walk, Peyton came to this conclusion after three hours spent riding all over the desert. They had raced each other all afternoon and she had beaten him every time, he had been very gracious a loser and Peyton tried not to like him too much.

The afternoon was quickly over, they were both covered in sand and dust but she didn't care, she just felt happy-it was an unusual feeling. They sat in the bar and sipped cokes, they talked about music and art, favourite films, he told her about his childhood and how he had grown up on a ranch, he worked as a wrangler in the summer but his passion and dream had always been his music. Peyton 100% understood that all consuming feeling that washed over when she had music playing, she could feel it speaking to her, whispering soft reassurance that not everything was lost, sometimes all you need is a song.

'Peyton, what do you want to do tonight?' Justin had really enjoyed spending time with her, he could tell she felt the same way and like everything else about him he confidently proposed a dinner date.

'Sure, just give me a couple of hours to do some work, then I'll freshen up and we can go to a little restaurant not from my place'. Peyton slugged the last of her drink down and stood up, he paid the tab and they walked outside in companionable silence. The ride back to her house was fast and she was soon handing him his spare helmet and waving at him from the front porch.


	2. A First Date, An Open Heart

**A/N:** For S, Kate & Lexie-Cos you guys make me smile and laugh everyday! Hope you like it!

**Chapter 2, A First Date, An Open Heart**

She had a few hours to kill before she needed to be ready for the date, she did some sketching and left Haley an e-mail outlining some new ideas about what she had listened to so far of Mia's new tracks and what she thought needed a little tweaking. Since it was so balmy in the evenings, Peyton wore a simple off white summer dress; she slipped on some sandals and let her curls fall past her shoulders in an organised messy fashion. Whatever. It looked fine.

Justin was the perfect gentleman; well he held her hand and pulled out her chair for her when they got to the restaurant. He also tucked a stray curl of hers behind her ear when he leaned in close to whisper something a little naughty to her, she loved his playfulness, and he was a breath of fresh air in a room that had felt stifled and suffocated.

They ordered enchiladas and drank tequila washed down with a carafe of wine, they laughed and flirted and Peyton felt a little bit tense. She paid for the meal and left a generous tip, Justin stood up and offered her his arm, and she linked hers through it and leaned into his side. He placed a tender kiss on top of her curls and pulled her a little closer to him. The walk home to Peyton's went by in no time at all, she fiddled with her keys and turned to face him, he leant in and pressed his lips to hers. Peyton kissed him back and placed a hand against his cheek the other caressed the base of his neck, the kiss was slow and tender, she slowly pulled away and murmured something about a nightcap.

They stepped through the front door and before she could really even make it into the kitchen his arms were around her waist and they were being moved quickly in the direction of her bedroom. She would have protested but really, when a really sweet, sexy and just downright gorgeous man kisses you like that and you say no, you are the idiot not the other way around. He kissed her neck and slowly lifted up the hem of her dress, he traced circles on her thighs and heard her whimper in delight.

Not to be outdone, Peyton tugged at his T-shirt and pulled it up and over his head, she traced the contours of his toned and tanned body and smiled, she didn't know it yet but he was going to be everything and more in that department. His eyes smouldered with lust and it was all he could to not just throw her down and make love to her, something told him that this was different, she was different-so he took it slow. He had no idea how much torture this was for her, she liked the way he kissed her torso-feather like touches that left a trail of heat. His hands lightly caressed the inside of her thighs and he took his time making sure she was enjoying herself, Peyton pulled his face towards hers and they sank into one another's embrace. They made love all night and she finally felt free, she had no regrets, Justin was her first since being away, she was glad that she had waited until she was ready.

She woke up and her head was resting on his chest as he slept comfortably his arms wrapped around her. They spent the next two weeks with each other, sitting out in the evening watching the sun go down and drinking tequila, she would sit in his lap and kiss him every now and again, he would chuckle at her and poke her sides-he would mutter things like adorable and cute. She would shake her head and kiss him in that way she had that let him know she wanted to take this somewhere more private. He was great, he was exactly what she had needed, and he didn't make grand gestures and promise her forever. He was simple, their relationship was free and easy, they liked each other a lot but Peyton wasn't sure if she could go there with him. Justin seemed perfectly content taking things one day at a time.

Brooke rang in the third week and asked what the hell was going on,

'Peyton, where are you? I mean I know where you literally are, but why haven't you confirmed your flights or where you will be staying. According to Haley you said you would definitely be here tomorrow and that you couldn't wait to see everyone-and you were bringing someone back with you'. Brooke had carried on barely catching a breath and Peyton just stood there mouthing an apology to Justin as she took the call out on the sun deck. She settled herself comfortably and waited for the tirade to be over.

'Brooke, slow down honey, I didn't confirm the flight because I haven't booked it yet, before you freak out I will be booking it as soon as I hang up ok? I'm bringing my boyfriend Justin with me, I'm signing him to Red Bedroom Records-he has an amazing band and we could make a really great album together. Relax I have everything under control I'll text you my flight details and I'll see you tomorrow best friend. I love you ok-goodbye'. Peyton smiled as she hung up the phone, she had already booked their flights a week ago, Justin had been really excited about seeing her hometown and also signing with her, she had just shrugged her shoulders and said that his band was amazing she just wanted everyone else to see and hear that.

They landed in Tree Hill, it was a beautiful summer's day, the air smelt of freshly cut grass and there was a gentle breeze, Justin joked that it smelt like coming home. Peyton just smiled and tucked her hand inside his, Brooke was waiting impatiently outside, she was leant against her black SUV and she was tapping her foot. Peyton stifled a laugh and ran over to her best friend enveloping her in a hug and murmuring how great it was to finally be home.

'I'm glad your back blondie, but I'm gonna kill ya later after your man here has gone to bed or whatever. You and I are going to talk ok?' Brooke's voice had a serious tone to it and Peyton just nodded in agreement.

'Brooke this is Justin my boyfriend and also my latest client'.

'Hi Brooke it's a pleasure to finally meet you, Peyton has told me so much about you already I feel like I know you'. He drew her into a quick and friendly hug and saw her features soften as she sized him up and gave a slight nod of her head. He chuckled softly to himself as he recognized her feisty nature; she wanted to know if he was good enough for Peyton. Her small nod in Peyton's direction and the smile that reached her eyes-told him everything he needed to know.

Brooke chatted freely and easily with both of them in the car on the way to her beach house, she gave them all the details of the party and told them it would held at Naley's seeing as they had the bigger house and a pool. They had a few hours before the party kicked off, Brooke told Peyton she could maybe take a nap and then they would spend the rest of their time getting ready and catching up. Justin wanted to nap, so as soon as they arrived he slipped into Peyton's old bedroom and lay down on top of the covers. Peyton was too buzzed to sleep and instead chose to sip wine with Brooke out on her balcony and get caught up on everything that had been going on.

Peyton didn't want to tell Brooke that she was home for good this time around, she had made the decision a few weeks ago and she was excited about it. Justin would of course be sticking around and the two of them would be staying in separate homes, they were in no way ready to make such a big commitment and besides Justin had said that the guys would be excited about renting a house near the beach and just having a bachelor pad. Peyton planned on moving back in with Brooke, just until she found her own place.

The sun had just begun to set and Brooke and Peyton were almost ready to head out, Justin had woken up a half hour ago and spent ten minutes getting ready. He looked amazing in his slightly faded jeans and smart button down shirt-he had completed his look by teeming it with his signature leather jacket. His hair was lightly gelled and he looked like he had stepped off the pages of a magazine that was modelling underwear his good looks and casual manner endeared him to almost everyone he met, Peyton just kissed him lightly on the lips and said she would be five more minutes.

Haley answered the door with a smile and pulled Peyton into a tight hug.

'God, I've missed you. I'm so glad you're back. Who's the friend'. Haley spoke quietly but there was warmth to her tone.

'I've missed you Hales, and this is my boyfriend Justin'. Peyton grabbed his hand and made the introductions. Justin was charming and funny, he had everyone laughing at ease and soon as they entered the house. Brooke smiled at Peyton and got a nod from her, Peyton had done good, she looked completely different from the broken and tired woman of two years ago. Her hair had a shine to it and her step had a lightness to it, she was back, Brooke's Peyton was finally back.

Peyton felt at ease amongst her friends, she laughed and joked with Nate and sat and held Jamie in her lap, they had a cook out and Nate held court with a big fork in one hand and a beer in the other. Peyton looked around curious as to where Luke and his wife were. Haley told her they should be here any minute. Peyton smiled and tipped her head back soaking up the sun's rays, she felt a slight hint of nervousness but she knew she would be ok, she had Justin with her and she was going to be just fine. Or so that's what she told herself, truth to be told Peyton never knew how she was going to feel at seeing Luke after so much time but she reasoned that two years was more than enough time for her to be finally over him.

She gave Jamie back to Haley, kissed Justin lightly on the lips and said she was going to get a drink. Brooke told her she could use a glass of wine and Justin just pointed to his almost full glass and shook his head when she quirked her eyebrow at him.

She walked into Haley's kitchen and busied herself with mixing a drink; she fancied a cocktail, nothing too alcoholic but something with a kick in it. She strode over to the freezer and was bent down peering into the ice tray when she felt his eyes on her, it had to be Luke, even when she couldn't see him she could always sense him. She slowly stood up and turned around. He was standing just across the kitchen island from her, his hair was messily gelled and his shirt clung to his body, he took her breath away even after all this time. Fuck. Peyton was in trouble. She had thought being away from him would allow her to fall out of love with him. She couldn't have been more wrong.

Luke had arrived alone as Lindsey had been held up in New York she had left Haley a voicemail apologising for not being there. He had walked into their house and had spotted Peyton right away, he had seen her bent over by the freezer her curls looked longer and seeing her again after all this time still made his heart skip a beat. She had subtly changed, there was an air of contentment around her, and the time away had clearly done wonders for her.

'Hi, It's good to see you, how long has it been?' Luke shyly smiled at her and took in everything about her; she smiled back at him and casually shrugged her shoulders.

'Hey Lucas, it's been awhile, I'm doing good, in fact I'm making some drinks you want one?' She held the ice tray in her hand and the vodka in the other.

'Sure, I'll have whatever you're having'.

'Ok, I warn you now I take no responsibility for how strong this is going to be, in Mexico we call it "A shot in the dark", the drink consists of vodka, orange juice, a twist of lemon, a hint of raspberry and a drop of tequila. Are you sure you can handle it?' She had a teasing smile on her lips and a playful look in her eyes. Luke just shrugged his shoulders and told he could handle anything she gave him.

'Alright, here goes'. Peyton mixed the drinks in a shaker, poured some of the liquid into some tumblers and handed one to Luke. He clinked his glass against hers and they toasted to her return and Brooke's birthday.

He took a slug of the drink and coughed as he felt the heady mix hit the back of his throat, she hadn't been kidding when she said it was a strong mix. He covered his mouth with his hand and swallowed the mouthful down. It was tasty, but very strong. Peyton laughed at his discomfort and grabbed a wine bottle, she poured Brooke a drink and gathered up her own.

'Come on Lucas, let's go join the others-there's someone I'd like you to meet'. He followed her outside and was quickly welcomed, kissed and hugged. Brooke got up and gave him a hug-she whispered in his ear about Lindsey's whereabouts, he told her she was held up in New York and wouldn't be back until next Friday. Brooke nodded her head and grabbed her wine from Peyton.

'Lucas, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend Justin'. Justin stood up and went to shake hands with Luke.

'It's nice to meet you Lucas, Peyton here has told me a little about all of you. How do you fit into all of this?'

'Haley's my best friend, Nathan is my brother and Brooke and Peyton are old friends from high school'. Luke chose not to reveal his past history with the two women to Peyton's new boyfriend he figured it would make things uncomfortable. Brooke snorted at his description of her and Peyton but chose not to correct him. Peyton smiled with her eyes and sat back down.

The evening wore on and everyone seemed to be having a good time, Justin told stories about his band and all the trouble they'd gotten into over the years. Haley filled Luke in on how Peyton and Justin had gotten together; it was close to midnight when the party started to wind down. Brooke was happily tipsy; Peyton and Justin were still relatively sober and were making moves to leave. Haley woke Nate up and everyone said his or her goodbyes. Luke offered to drive the girls and Justin home seeing as he had consumed only one drink. They nodded their assent and left.

Brooke passed out on the way home and Justin started to nod off in the back seat. Peyton and Luke sat in a tense silence neither one of them knowing what to say. Before Peyton could gather her courage to say something, anything they were pulling up outside Brooke's house. Luke helped Brooke inside and said good night to everyone. Peyton thanked him and went to her bedroom. Justin had crawled under the covers and was fast asleep. Brooke had mumbled something about needing coffee but had gone to her bedroom and passed out on top of the covers. Peyton tucked her in for the night and left the room quietly chuckling to herself. She had never felt more wide-awake. Her heart was doing flip flops; she really didn't know how to feel, or what being home really meant to her.

She grabbed her keys and left the house, the moon was full and there was a gentle breeze in the air, she took her time and ended up at the River Court. It felt really good to be home, but she still didn't really know where her head and heart were at. She knew it was unfair to Justin but she couldn't help it. She had loved Lucas for a long time and it would seem that some things never change. All it took was one look from him and Peyton was right back where she had started.

She may have been gone for two years but her heart had stayed right here in Tree Hill, she wondered if there would ever be a time when she didn't feel this way about Luke. The not knowing was slowly killing her, it wasn't a moment of clarity but a realization that she would never love another living soul the way she loved Luke.

She sat in the middle of the River Court and traced her finger along the spray paint that spelled out hers and Lucas' names, she started crying. How cruel fate was, she had tried to mend her broken heart and all she had done was put a band-aid over it. One single day had undone the past two years.

She lay down on the warm blacktop surface and let the breeze ghost it's way across her arms and hair. She put in her ear buds and let the music fill her head, she didn't know how long she lay there, but it took her mere seconds to realize she was not alone anymore. He was there, she could sense him, and she could practically breathe him in.

Luke had trouble sleeping and decided the River Court would the best place to clear his head, truth to be told he felt unstrung. Lindsey had stayed in New York because they had agreed on a trial separation, his marriage to Lindsey had been happy at first; it had been everything he had thought it was going to be. Until the day she found his Peyton box, he'd never had it in him to throw that stuff away and every now and again he would flick through it and reminisce about the past. He had fallen asleep clutching a photo of Peyton and him smiling into each others eyes, Lindsey had come back early to surprise her husband and instead found him fast asleep with a contented smile on his face, she had been happy until she realized he was holding a photo of Peyton and that look on his face was a result of the photo and not because of her.

She had sat on the edge of the bed tears streaming down her face as she felt within her soul that she had made a huge mistake and she would be left wanting something she could never have-the complete and total love of her husband. Lucas woke up and saw her tear stained face, they had talked for a few hours and both knew it was never going to be the same again. Lindsey asked for a separation and Luke pleaded with her to give him a second chance, she refused and left the next morning. The day of Brooke's party he had been served with divorce papers, he had tried to muster up the ability to be devastated but all he felt was relief. He had been lying to himself for so long now that being with Lindsey had made him relatively happy but the day Peyton left he had felt devastated, it was LA all over again. He was too stubborn to go after her and to angry about everything that had happened between them to fight for her, so he married Lindsey instead.

Luke hated to fail at anything and this was why he had all but begged Lindsey to stay, but they both knew that it was never going to work, Lindsey was just so much stronger than him she didn't want to waste another moment living a lie, pretending that everything would be ok when she knew deep down that it would never be ok. All she had ever wanted from Luke was his heart, when she realized that she was never going to get that she left for New York. She spent the next few days speaking to her friends and even taking a trip to see her mother. She had sat by the pond and contemplated her future without Lucas in it-when she realized that it didn't break her spirit to not have him in it; she served him with divorce papers. She also left him a voicemail telling him she wouldn't be back and that she would send someone to collect her things.

Lindsey didn't feel sad about the ending of her marriage she felt disappointed, their relationship had started its downward trajectory in the last six months and it had felt like she was doing all she could to hold on to it. After finding Lucas clutching the photo of Peyton she just couldn't do it anymore, she said goodbye to her marriage and went to New York to heal her heavy heart, she knew in time that she would be just fine.

Luke stood at the edge of the River Court, he could see the prostrate form of Peyton directly in front of him, she had her legs crossed one over the other and he could hear the tinny sound of her headphones. She sat up abruptly and saw him watching her, she slowly took out her ear buds and just stared at him, her heart rate spiked, her palms got all sweaty and she felt a thin bead of perspiration form at the base of her neck. She was in danger of doing something she couldn't take back-and a really big part of her wanted to do that, but she knew if she did it would never be right for her, she would feel tainted. She respected herself too much to do that, so she just sat there, idly tracing patterns on her jeans waiting for him to say or do something.

'I remember the last time we were together here on this court, it was night time and you had this sad and far away look in your eyes. I wanted to say so many things to you that night, but every time I went to say them I just couldn't'. He came and sat next to her, she turned to him and just looked at him. He was different, it was a subtle change, but his eyes didn't hold the same intensity, they seemed dulled at the edges, he looked ever so slightly haunted.

'Luke I needed to leave so that I could really start to live again, I missed this place but everywhere I went gave me a piece of myself back. It felt really good to be out there by myself making it all happen. I don't regret leaving or what happened with us, sometimes the hardest thing to do is walk away not knowing if you'll ever walk back-you know?'

He just tipped his head and looked down, he was thinking about all the missed moments, all the mistakes that had been made over the years and when all was said and done they somehow ended up back right where they had started.

'I felt just like that back in L.A and we never really spoke about it, I didn't break up with you because I stopped loving you. I broke up with you because it hurt to love you they way I did. Being so far away from you and not being able to share all my dreams with you, it just became too hard. I've always regretted that choice I made'. Peyton looked into his eyes searching for honesty and all she saw was a Luke laid bare, he had let her in again after all this time. She leaned toward him and captured his lips with her own, it was something she did on impulse, and if she was honest with herself she had been wanting to do that all night.

Before Luke could pull her to him, Peyton pulled back and said she was sorry but she wouldn't be the other woman, and she didn't feel right about cheating on her boyfriend. Luke nodded his head and touched his lips, they were hot to the touch and his cheeks were flushed, Peyton had a fiery look in her eyes, she said she needed time and that she didn't know what all this meant.

She got up hurriedly and all but ran back to Brooke's beach house; she lay down on the couch in the living room and felt herself start to drift off.


	3. A Kiss is just a kiss, Right?

**Chapter 3 A Kiss is just a kiss-Right?**

Luke had started the short walk home not long after Peyton, he had been wrong about everything and he had been so very stupid to think he could find that with someone else. He deeply regretted his spiteful and childish actions when it came to his love for Peyton. It was just that with her it was everything and the way they loved one another was forever, it wasn't something that would fade over time-it would only get stronger. Luke had never felt more terrified and excited all at the same time, he finally knew where his heart truly lay-a small part of him had known all along but his shattered heart hadn't let him believe in that version of forever.

Peyton woke up cold and alone on the couch, she glanced at her watched-it was early still; the others probably wouldn't be awake for a few more hours.

She didn't think she could walk away not really. Like every time she takes a step away the hurt follows her in little ways, a picture, and a smell it all reminds of her of what she could be saying no to.

She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, she remembered the first time she said no. Her mind and body had wrestled with one another and she felt so used from Nate she had said no to his brother-promising herself more time. She left it too late; she broke her own heart, Brooke's and even Luke's a little.

She had been too young back then to really understand what it was that she was feeling. She knew she had gone about it in the wrong way; she had been a day late in confessing her true feelings. She had seen the hurt and disappointment etched across his features as she finally told him.

It felt a little like an ending of something that never really got a beginning and there is something so beautifully tragic in this, she can't help but feel a ghost from the past whisper sadly in her ear. It's an echo of a moment in time from long ago that sometimes seems as though it never happened. Or at least this is what Peyton tries to convince herself of; admitting to her own mistakes is not something she likes to do. Ever. It hurts in places it shouldn't, it causes tears that seem to age her heart, and it settles like stones within her stomach and makes her gasp at the heavy burden.

Musicians write about love setting you free, letting you grow into a person you always knew you could be, too bad it didn't tell you of the rip and tear that occurs slowly over time and kills you slowly with each step you take forward that really just feels like a step backward. Peyton felt more lost now than she had before she left two years ago. Being here with Justin had certainly helped-but it made it all harder.

Knowing your hearts desire and getting it were two very different things all together, because no matter which option she chose someone would end up hurt.

It was the ache in the pit of her stomach; it was the years of hanging onto something that had long ago turned to dust and slipped through her fingers. Peyton was as ever reliving her past with Luke riding shotgun. She had dreamed of a forever with him, they had whispered dreams of an us in the moonlight and made promises that sounded like an echo in an empty room. She lay on the couch tears falling down her face as she came to the realization that it was too late to alter the path she was set upon.

This poem was found tucked inside her jacket pocket, it was written by Peyton as she lay thinking of all that could have been,

Because that's who you are to me

It feels like a promise

But really it's a goodbye

She wishes it could have been a yes

But all she can taste is a no

She whispers a promise of someday

And clasps his bigger hands inside

Her tiny ones

She lay weeping into the quiet dawn morning, the sun streaked across the sky and she pushed the balcony doors open. She held a bottle of Jack in one hand and a tumbler in the other. She set her bottle and glass on the table and went back inside for a blanket. She seated herself comfortably in the armchair Brooke had placed out there and she slugged her drink down. This move was out of character for her, but given the circumstances and the inner turmoil she was feeling she felt it was warranted.

She had a difficult choice to make, a part of her had already decided but her heart was playing havoc with her soul, she didn't know who she really was without him. That thought alone made her want to drink the cool amber liquid down and sit there in a delightful alcoholic haze. She didn't want to do this sober, no. She couldn't make this choice sober and in the cold light of day. It was too hard. It was tearing her in two.

She sat out there until the sun had risen high in the morning sky and was twinkling at her as though forcing her to make a choice.

'Peyton, what the hell? Are you drinking? It's not even midday!' Brooke had gone in search of coffee and instead had seen the top of Peyton's head silhouetted against the balcony doors.

'Oh, Hey Brooke'.

'Don't hey me Brooke. What the hell is going on with you? Wait I'll be right back'.

Brooke went back inside and grabbed herself a glass.

'Normally I wouldn't condone the drinking of liquor before midday but the look in your eyes tells me we both need a drink to have this conversation'.

Brooke grabbed the bottle from her friend and poured herself a generous measure of the good stuff.

'Brooke, I just… I don't know what to do'.

'Trust me honey-the drinking at the crack of a dawn clearly indicates that. Now before we embark on what is sure to be a long and broody conversation. Let's toast!' Brooke smiled at her friend and then went and kneeled down in front of her.

'Peyton whatever it is, I am here for you ok?'

'Thanks Brooke-now what should we toast to?'

Brooke smiled and raised her glass, 'To friendship, broody getting you back and Justin consenting to pre-marital sex!'

'Brooke!'

'What? Oh honey you and I both know that boy doesn't stand a chance when it comes to you and broody. I mean come on; since you've been back you have started drinking at 6am. You've had this sad little girl lost look on your face and we both know who put it there'.

'Brooke. I don't want to talk about it right now, all I want is my best friend to sit next to me and toast to the start of a new beginning-ok?'

'Ok, best friend, but this discussion is not over, we will talk about this-when you're ready ok?'

'Ok Brooke, now enough with the sad stuff let's drink to a glorious morning and being drunk before noon!'

The tumblers clinked and they sat there enjoying the sun on their faces and the warm glow from the whiskey. Peyton closed her eyes and just sat there taking it all in, Brooke came over and sat next to her friend, she slung an arm around Peyton's middle and buried her head in the nook of her shoulder and just allowed herself to comfort her friend. Peyton sighed in contentment and hugged Brooke a little tighter. She always felt better knowing her best friend would just let her be whatever and not judge her actions or continually question her, it was exactly what she needed.

They fell asleep, Justin found them hours later, an empty bottle resting atop of the blanket and two very passed out individuals. He chuckled to himself and took a seat next to them, he reached for the half full glass and tossed what was left down his throat, it went down smoothly and he was somewhat impressed that these two could put away so much liquor.

'Justin, what..? How long have we been out?' Peyton had woken up slightly fuzzy round the edges and saw him sitting there watching the sailboats glide effortlessly through the harbour.

'Um.. I don't know a couple of hours I guess. You two have been out since I sat down. Nice job on almost finishing that bottle'. Peyton looked at the now empty bottle and started laughing. Perfect. The first day she has been home in years and her new boyfriend sees her and Brooke clearly giving it there all in a drinking session that made him look teetotal.

'Peyton what the hell? What's so funny?' Brooke felt groggy and actually still very drunk, she shook her head and stirred out of Peyton's arms.

'Um nothing, but we should all do something fun today, like go see a band or maybe spend the day at the beach-it is a beautiful day after all'.

'Sounds good to me-Justin you think you handle us for a whole day?' Brooke was smirking at him and held a naughty look in her eye. He shrugged his shoulders and said he was up for anything.

'Peyton get up, we need to shower and get ready'.

2 hours later Brooke was finally ready to leave, Peyton had taken it upon herself to do tequila shots-she figured she might as well start as you mean to go on. Justin had so far been matching her shot for shot. Peyton felt like today she could just do whatever she wanted-she could immerse herself in alcohol and deal with her complicated love life later, her behaviour was uncharacteristic even for her-but she just couldn't seem to care.

'Peyton, let's go-I have everything'. Brooke bustled around the kitchen grabbing glasses and her handbag whilst staring suspiciously at Peyton.

'Have you been drinking all this time?' Brooke rasped out in surprise.

'Pretty much-I mean we stopped for bathroom breaks and kisses but other than that yeah we have been drinking whilst you were getting yourself ready. I mean there was a whole ten minutes when I went to get changed and fix my hair. So if you minus that, it's only about an hour and 50 minutes and that ain't bad'. Peyton goofily grinned and bumped fists with Justin. They had also packed a cooler full of booze and had every intention of putting it to good use.

'Is there something you wanna tell me Peyt? Should I be worried that you are drinking so much today?' Brooke looked at her friend with concerned eyes.

Peyton shrugged her shoulders and looked at Brooke, 'Nope, it's been a weird few days, leaving Mexico and flying home. I just need some time to find my rhythm but in the mean time I intend on drinking the day away. You got a problem with that?' Peyton knew she was being belligerent and snarky but she had been practically a girl scout her entire time away-she was just making up for lost time.

'Nope, drink away my little alcoholic grouchy pants, but there is no way I am holding your hair back when you puke. Justin gets that job on account of basically encouraging you to drink-mm k?' She glared at Peyton and then Justin until he slowly nodded his head in agreement.

'Good, let's go you two. The day is calling us; well maybe it's calling you two more. Whatever. Just grab your stuff and let's make a move before Ozzy over here gets too wasted to move'.

'Hey I resent that, it's not like I'm shooting heroin into my eyeballs. So I've had a few drinks. I've earned them. Now quit being all judgey and let's get the hell out of here'. Peyton smirked at Brooke and grabbed Justin's hand. He pressed a light kiss to the inside of her wrist and pulled her into his side, she rested her head on his shoulder and they walked behind a slightly exasperated Brooke. Peyton couldn't help but smile to herself; she had a good feeling about today.

The beach was relatively quiet, Brooke laid out the towels and grabbed an umbrella, and she slathered sunscreen all over and lay down to catch some of those rays. Peyton just sat between Justin's legs and toasted to a new future. They had a bottle of wine and some beers, they sat and chatted quietly to themselves and played drinking games.

Brooke opened her eyes from time to time and glanced over at her friend and saw the almost genuine smile playing on her lips. She would let Peyton have this day of letting go and being whatever is was that she needed to be in order to deal with the Luke situation.

'Hey Justin, wanna go for a swim?' Peyton stood up slugged her beer down and ran towards the surf. He chased after her and grabbed her from behind. She squealed in delight and turned around in his arms, she draped herself around his muscular frame and lightly pressed her lips to his.

'You're amazing, you know that!' He gazed at his girlfriend and pressed her body closer to his, they fitted together perfectly. Peyton wondered how his kisses could feel so right and yet she tasted the scent of longing for someone else long after they broke apart.

'You're not so bad yourself'. Peyton leaned in and passionately kissed him, she could feel the droplets of water falling softly down her face mingling with his own, she felt at peace with him, like he could be everything she didn't know she needed. She hoped this feeling would last.

They spent the next few hours in the ocean, splashing around and chasing each other through the surf and stopping now and again for kisses and jokes. It was a great way to spend the day and Peyton felt freer than she had in years.

'Peyt, it's time to go. We should be getting back, bitchtoria phoned apparently there's a problem with our suppliers in Milan I need to go to New York tonight and sort it all out'. Peyton sighed and walked up the beach, they gathered their stuff together and headed to the car.

'Is everything ok Brooke, do you need me to come with you for moral support?'

'Thanks for offering but I got this one, you just take care of yourself and that new boy of yours. Have some fun Peyton-god knows you've earned it'.

'Thanks Brooke, and if you need anything just give me a call ok-I can be there in four hours. You are my priority ok? Hoes over bros'. They bumped fists and Brooke pulled her friend into a tight hug.

'Thanks Peyt, but we should really get home I have to pack and then catch the red eye before all hell breaks loose'.

They got back to the house and Brooke spent the time on the phone with her assistant arranging her flight and packing.

'Peyton I'm ready to go-I'll see you in a few days. Have fun, be safe-don't burn the house down. I love you-take care of yourself'.

'You too best friend, stay out of trouble. I love you-bye'. They hugged one last time and Brooke waved at Justin and then she was gone.

'And then there were two'. Justin smiled at Peyton and she grimaced inwardly, she had said those exact words to another boy when she didn't really know how she felt about him. She was still mourning the loss of Jake from her life and Lucas felt like the only person in the world who would understand what she was going through and not question her about it.

She had given a lot of herself to Luke over the years, sometimes it felt like he was the only person to ever really get her and not be afraid of who she was at heart. She mourned the loss of that over the last two years. She had a decision to make, she could stay with Justin and be gloriously happy with him and perhaps learn to give him parts of herself that had long ago been Luke's or she could choose Lucas and see where that boulevard of broken dreams took her.

'Anyone home?' Luke had pushed the front door open after knocking for the last five minutes; they basically had an open door policy amongst their friends.

'Lucas, Hi-what are you doing here?' Peyton had heard someone come in and had gotten up from her deck chair on the balcony to see whom it was.

'Justin's out meeting with his band mates, they have gone to look at houses to rent, I was tired and decided to sit here and watch the sun go down. Care to join me?' Luke nodded his head and followed her out the doors. She had a bottle of wine sitting in a cooler and she asked him to grab himself a glass from the kitchen. He got up and came back moments later.

'So what are we toasting?'

'How about we toast to New Beginnings'. Luke suggested.

'Sounds appropriate'. They clinked glasses and Luke let the cool liquid swirl in his mouth and swallowed his nervousness down.

He so badly wanted to say something about that kiss they had shared but he didn't know where to begin. He could still taste the heat from that kiss and still smell the scent of her every time he inhaled. She was intoxicating, she had been for years, and it had just taken him a little longer to realize just how special she really was to him.

Peyton felt nervous sitting here with Lucas after all this time, she hadn't really known what to expect, but being this close was confusing her. She felt the very real and very wrong urge to kiss him. She knew if she leant over just a little bit she could be in his arms, she could finally know one way or the other if this is what she really wanted.

She leaned over to talk to him and she saw his pupils darken, they held a certain magnetic power over her, before she knew what was happening.


	4. Don't Make Promises You Can't Keep

Chapter 4 Don't Make Promises You Can't Keep

She leaned over to talk to him and she saw his pupils darken, they held a certain magnetic power over her, before she knew what was happening-she found her lips on his. He pulled her to sit in his lap and kissed her passionately. He placed his hands deep in her curly hair and felt like he was coming home. She still tasted the same, a mix of strawberry lip-gloss and wine-with the scent of lavender on her skin.

She melted into his embrace and sighed against his lips, she realized she had made yet another mistake. She really couldn't help herself. She had denied herself for so long that if she hadn't done this then she would always have wondered.

She pulled back from him and rested her forehead against his, he sighed in contentment and spoke softly,

'I've wanted to do that for two years, I realize I have no right to tell you this especially seeing as you are with someone else. But it's you; it's always going to be you. I will wait as long as it takes for you to come back to me. I'm not going anywhere. This time I promise to wait forever-I don't want anyone else. I don't think I ever really have, you are it for me-you always have been'. Lucas stared right down into her eyes and promised her a forever; he kissed her lightly on the lips and then pulled her into a hug. He could feel the tears silently soaking his shirt as she cried for all the lost time and perhaps even mourned the incredibly bad timing they both seemed to have when it came to how they felt about one another.

'Luke…I' She had used the shortened form of his name, that meant something, it had to.

'I need some time to figure this all out. I feel things for you-but I'm in love with Justin. I'm not saying this to hurt you, but he kinda saved me and I fell in love with him. I don't want to break up with him-I need more time-ok'. Peyton had stood up and was looking directly at Luke's eyes. He shrugged his shoulders and hugged her close to him.

'I'm never giving up on us, you're too important to me. I'll be waiting for you, whenever-whatever you choose I'll never stop thinking of an us. We are meant for each other we always have been, but this time I'll be patient'. With those words echoing in the space between them Luke stood up and opened the balcony doors. As he was about to step through them he heard her whisper quietly, 'Wait'.

He turned around and saw her standing there her hair was haloed by the dying embers of the sun; she looked otherworldly and eerie but breathtakingly beautiful.

'I've waited for you to say those things to me for 5 years Luke. Everyday I prayed you would realize that we had never stopped being in love, but you see the thing is-the longer it goes on without you hearing those things the less you believe in them. Love and how you should be with that person-it all just fades over time. It gets a little blurrier around the edges; I stopped believing in an us the day you got married. It tore a piece of me away; I've never felt right in my soul since. So you can promise me a forever and how you believe that we are meant to be-but I just don't anymore. I choose Justin-and not because I want to hurt you but because I know he won't and because he healed me in a way you never could. Goodbye Lucas'. She waited until she heard the front door close behind her.

Peyton buried her face in her arms and cried, her shoulders shook and she felt utterly heart broken, she had just told the biggest lie and she didn't know who hurt more-her or Luke.

She stayed in that seat for an hour and let all the years of want and yearn unleash itself, she felt cleansed afterward but she could still smell his scent on her face and in her hair.

Justin got back a few hours later and felt a change in the air, there was a kind of sadness to Peyton like she had let something go or maybe she was still hanging onto it. Whatever it was, he felt a sense of foreboding.

'Peyton is everything alright?' She was lying on the couch and had an armed tucked behind her head she was looking very calm but with a hint of tragedy in her eyes. He lay down next to her and pressed a light kiss to her temple, she sighed into his embrace and wrapped her arms around his mid-rift. He was perfect. He could sit with her in silence and not question her every emotion, he let her just be her and didn't get all broody because she wasn't being talkative. In truth this is part of why she loved him so much.

They stayed like that on the couch for most of the evening and it didn't seem like they needed to talk or he needed to ask her what was going on. She just snuggled in closer to his protective arms and drifted into a sleep that was plagued with images of Luke and a life they could have had together. She saw children with curly hair and hazel eyes all with an adorable squint, her heart clenched in her chest as she saw her husband holding a newborn. It was Lucas; he was always in her dreams, even when they weren't together.

It all meant something, but Peyton was afraid of opening her heart to him again, because this time there would be no coming back from it.

Should she choose a life of dreams being fulfilled and being loved unconditionally by a man who had never hurt her and would always be there for her no matter what. Or should she risk everything for a love that was fragile and could break if both weren't 100% willing to let all the mistakes of the past stay buried. She knew Luke would love her until they day he died, but she didn't trust herself around him, he filled her soul and they danced to a song together as though they were made to fit. Could Peyton be brave and take that chance or would she be a coward and marry Justin instead and have a great life with him. She knew she needed more time, she needed to not see Luke and do some real soul searching-answers to her questions were going to be difficult to come by.

She spent the last day of the weekend by going to see Tric, the place where all the magic first started. It was her second home and she loved just sitting in her office and letting the music play softly in the background, she could feel herself starting to feel less conflicted just by being in her own space with no-one around.

If she went with what her heart had buried deep down she could be opening herself up for the first time in five years, like really letting someone in. It was all scary. Every option she went for had its pitfalls and potential downside. She felt so trapped and confused. She went and stood on the balcony at the back of Tric, the years washed over her. She remembered being here and watching Jake ride off on his bike to go look for his daughter, she remembered how it had crushed her when he said goodbye. She had felt ripped apart back then-but like this time it felt so different.

Losing Luke had been hard, it was still so hard-but being the one to say goodbye to all he was offering, she didn't know if she could do that. Justin on the other hand was still really great, had a lot of potential both as a musician and as a lover maybe even a husband. Peyton made her choice and she hoped to god it wouldn't come back and bite her in the ass. She deserved peace, she deserved love but most of all she deserved to be happy and this time she wouldn't let a broken heart stand in her way.

Peyton stood on the balcony and felt the cool night air raise the tiny blond hairs at the back of her neck and along her arms; she felt a whisper of yesterday echo in her present. It felt eerie standing out here, surrounded by so many good and bad memories from her youth. It was here and in this club that Peyton had realized her true feelings for Luke-back when she was a senior and also when she had first come back. Could she be strong enough to stay away from him and not let her attraction to him get the better of her? She hoped so, but it was more than that-she wouldn't cheat on him. Peyton had learnt early on that hurting someone like that ultimately hurt you as well. You cannot have such disregard for someone else's feelings it would be terribly wrong and hurtful. So for her own sake she would keep her distance from Luke until she was able to rein in her emotions regarding that broody boy.

'Hey Hales, I know it's late but could you come over. I need to talk'. Luke hung up the phone and went and lay down his bed, he opened his bedside drawer and looked at the framed picture of him and Peyton taken on the last night they were together just after graduation. She was staring into his eyes with a look of adoration and love; his lips were curled into a smile he hadn't seen in 5 years.

'What's going on Luke? You sounded strange on the phone'. He looked up and saw his best friend staring down at him, she looked intrigued and confused.

'What happens next Hales? I mean do I stay here and fight for her? Or do I leave and let her let me go once and for all. I spoke to her tonight Hales'. Haley sat down on the bed next to Luke and put her hand inside his, she squeezed it gently and just nodded her head.

'You fight for her Luke, you stay and you try and make things right again. If you leave, then Peyton doesn't really get a choice, but if you stay she knows you are willing to fight for her. I know it's hard seeing her happy and not being the one person who could do that for her but you have to be stronger than that. She waited years for you, she stayed even when you were with Lindsey and her heart was breaking. She stayed because the alternative was not having you at all'. Haley sighed deeply and wished there was something she could do to make all the pain go away, at the same time she realized that he had brought this upon himself. He would need to stay and figure it out, he couldn't run anymore, he didn't really need to-if Peyton was his happily ever after then he had better do something about it.

'She kissed me Hales twice, and I can still feel her touch. I can smell her scent on my skin and I can her heart beating faster as she sat curled in my lap her hand pressed to my chest. I felt like my whole world had finally started to make sense again, and it as because of her. It will always be her, no one else even comes close-but I'm afraid she's slipping away from me, like this is all too much for her and she doesn't want to give us another try'.

'You' re a moron-you know that, you had 2 years to figure this all out and you still couldn't really tell her how important she was, you guys have the worst timing. Peyton will never stop loving you but you have to prove to her that she is worth it-and by doing so you will prove that you are worthy of her love. Right now, you are not even close to earning that trust from her. She's confused and hurting Luke-you have made her this way through your selfish actions and disregard for her feelings. If you had been honest with her then none of this would ever have happened'.

'I know that Hales, don't you think I realize that already. I hurt everyday I see her with someone else, I feel pieces of me aching and tearing knowing I don't get to be the one that holds her close at night and shares in all her successes. Trust me I am suffering as well; this was never going to be easy. But she's all I want, she's all I've ever wanted-I can't lose her again Hales not now not ever. Will you help me win her back?' Luke looked into his best friends eyes and saw her nod her head slowly and then a smile spread across her features.

'It's about time Luke. Brooke owes me twenty bucks'.

'You bet on me realizing my true feelings for Peyton and made a bet with Brooke?'

'Well yeah, we both knew it was only a matter of time before you two idiots realized you couldn't live without each other. Brooke bet me you wouldn't fold for at least another month. She said that she hadn't seen Peyton this happy in years and doubted if you could get in the way of it-unless Peyton felt the same way'.

'I told her that Peyton did-she was used to people walking away from her and would be happy when she realized her true happiness came in the form of you'. Luke hugged his best friend and they agreed to meet up tomorrow and discuss strategies for winning Peyton back. Haley left not long after this and Luke climbed into bed and fell into a dreamless slumber.

Peyton didn't sleep very well that night, she kept waking up in a cold sweat and visions of a brunette baby that looked just like Justin. The baby wouldn't stop crying and every time Peyton went to comfort her daughter she wailed even louder. Peyton decided that sleep was making her even more confused about her situation; apparently her subconscious had a secret yet disturbing yearning for babies without brown hair. She felt like screaming in frustration and decided today she was going to hate everything.

She left the house early and took a stroll down the beach, it was so quiet at this time that she wondered why she'd never thought to do it before now, then she remembered she was not that much of an early riser and usually left the house in a rush.

Peyton couldn't really take any more indecision on her part, she wanted the answers to be simple and she wanted them now. She was so tired of searching for something she wasn't sure still existed. It was a lie she told herself in the dead of night when she felt the most secure, she whispered negatives to herself desperately pushing back the regret. It felt like a stone that had gotten heavier, it would seem that you can place a smile on your face but you can't fake the one that isn't in your heart.

It's the laughter you hold deep in your throat, it's the way your hair sways in a gentle summer's breeze; it's the taste of happiness flowing through a room. It's the music that makes you feel lighter than air and transforms a dark and sombre mood. It was you. It was me. We were an us. Now all I can taste is the bittersweet memory of a love that was never really given a chance to flourish. Peyton didn't know whom she was thinking of when it came to whom she really should love. Grand gestures and declarations of a forever were all she could think about as she sat in her office and listened to a new demo.

She made some notes and called Justin. He told he loved her and that he had found a place to live, it was close to the ocean and far enough away for her to feel like she had space.

'Babe are you ready to go?' Justin was wearing an old pair of jeans and the leather jacket that made her a little weak in the knees. His T-shirt was stretched across his toned torso and all she could think about was ripping his clothes off and making love to him on her desk, in her car. It really didn't matter, all she knew was that she had thirst she needed to slake and he was all hers. A boy to call her own. No one clamouring over whom he loved. It was clear he had eyes only for her.

'Yeah, I'm all finished up here. Let's go'. He slipped an arm around his waist and slung her bag over her shoulder. He pressed a kiss to the side of her head and whispered how sexy she looked today and how he couldn't wait to christen his new place with her. She gripped him a little tighter and turned in his embrace, she pressed her lips to his and felt him tip her back a little as his tongue explored her lips and her then he pressed himself just a little closer to her.

'God you're sexy', she huskily murmured against his lips. He sighed into her face and gripped her hips a little tighter. She moved them back over to the pool table, he pulled her up and placed her top of the table, the balls scattered in all directions and she giggled. He stepped into the space between her legs and kissed her.

She deepened the kiss and then leapt up and closed the door to her office and locked it. She strolled back over to him and saw a naughty smile gently grace his features; he looked so hot standing there waiting for her.

She sat back and tucked her legs around his waist; he pulled her closer to him and placed little kisses down her shoulder and across her chest. She undid his belt and his jeans slowly slid down his body, he lifted her top up and over her head and then she kissed his lips as though her life depended on it.

He slipped into her with ease and the familiar feeling of pleasure filled them both, he started off slow and placed kisses to her torso and her breasts. She moaned his name and could feel herself falling just that little bit more. Before she could climax an image of Luke entered her mind and effectively killed the mood for her, she could feel how close he was and so she continued with her hips gently connecting with his own. She felt the heady rush of warmth fill her and she sighed in contentment and perhaps a little regret that it wasn't someone else making her feel this way. Peyton finally had her answer and she knew that it wasn't Justin. She was in love with him but not as in love as she was with Luke and now she was in big deep trouble.

She had buried her feelings for Luke for so long that she didn't know if she would ever be able to experience his love for her again. She sighed into Justin and he pulled out of her slowly, he helped her get dressed and then slipped his own clothes back on. They both had big smiles on their faces-but for very different reasons. He was in love with a Peyton that didn't really exist she was in love with a version of herself that would have been amazing with him had there never been a Luke. Too bad for her that she was doomed to love someone who had been in her heart and soul since the tender age of 16. She needed to call Brooke and talk this out with her, but she knew that she probably couldn't do it over the phone, so that left just one other person she could talk to about all of this.

'Justin, can I come by later and see your place, there's someone I need to go see'. He smiled at her and said he would see her later.

'Nate it's me, are you busy?' She pulled up to the Rivercourt and ran across the blacktop and felt his toned arms wrapped around her tiny frame in a loving and comforting embrace.

'Sawyer, what's going on?' Nate had heard the tremor in her voice and knew that somehow his older brother was responsible for her current state of mind.

'Nate, I don't really know what to do anymore. I love Justin, but I don't know if what we have is enough to build a future on'.

'Ok, slow down. You don't have to figure this all out today. Why don't we start from the beginning and then we can go from there?' Nate stepped away from her embrace and clasped her hands inside his own.

'Let's sit down and we can just talk or sit, whatever you want'. She nodded her head and they sat down on the edge of the court, he placed the basketball between his legs and wrapped an arm around her, he pulled her close and she rested her head on his shoulder. He was always there for her, even when they had been dating Nate could just let her sit and be whatever it was that she needed to be. He wouldn't force her to say what was on her mind he would let her get there in her own time. It was one of the reasons she still really loved him, he was an amazing friend, father and husband. Haley had gotten very lucky when she married her best friend. Nate had turned into the kind of guy people envied not because of his talent but because he was a loving human being who had so much to offer the world.

'I love Luke, Nate-I think I always have, but I don't trust him enough to risk everything again. If we don't work out I don't think there would be a hope we could ever come back from that intact. I don't really know if I'm brave enough to lay it all out there and have him run from it. What do you think?'

'I'm not gonna lie to you Sawyer, but only you and Luke know if what you have is worth fighting for, you once told me to have faith in my love for Haley and if we were meant to be then she would come back to me'.

'I know Nate; I remember believing in the love you two shared. I knew then that what you had was a forever despite all the confusion'.

'I'm glad I took your advice, because everyday I spend with my wife and son is another great day. I have you to thank for that, because in all honesty there were times when I wanted to give up and you made me think that I should give it another shot'.

'Nate you were always going to love Haley no matter what, me telling you to have trust in that was just my way of making sure you didn't make the same mistakes that I did. I should have waited for love and not shied away from it. I was a coward and now look where that has gotten me'.

'Peyton you were never a coward you were just cautious, let's not forget you lost Brooke twice to the same idiot and then you almost lost yourself 2 years ago when he chose Lindsey over you. He doesn't deserve someone as amazing as you, he hasn't earned that yet'.

'Thanks Nate, but I think I know what I need to do. I'm gonna stay with Justin for now, if Luke and I are meant for one another then we will be together, but this time he has to be the one who fights for me and for us. I won't do that again'.

He hugged her a little closer and they sat there on the Rivercourt, two old lovers, a guy and a girl and a lot of love shared between them. He was her best friend and he knew just how to comfort and reassure her.

They said their goodbyes not long after watching the sun go down and she hopped into her car and went to the address Justin had texted her with, it was a beautiful house right by the ocean and it suited him.

They ate some dinner and went to bed early. She woke up in the middle of the night and crept silently down the stairs, she grabbed her purse and drove home, she would call him in the morning and say she had needed to pick some stuff up before going to the office. She knew he wouldn't mind.

She jumped out of her skin when she saw who was lying on her couch at 2am. Lucas, she breathed his name out and sighed. She really couldn't deal with whatever he come over to say to her, it had been a long day and all she wanted to do was crawl beneath the covers and put her mind to rest. He stirred awake and his eyes adjusted to the darkness and all he could see was Peyton. His Peyton, she had a look in her eyes and a furrowed brow.

'Hi, I've been waiting for you'. His voice was still bleary from sleep and his hair was adorably mussed up, he looked so beautiful her heart ached for him. She strode over to the couch and sat down next to him.

'What are you doing here?' She sat facing him and crossed her arms over her body; she knew she was in dangerous territory with him sitting so close to her.

'I know I promised you time but I couldn't not see you. I just wanted to know if there was any chance that you would have coffee with me some time?'

She kinked her brow at him and leaned forward,

'Luke you could have waited till the morning to ask me this, what's the real reason you are here?' She looked into his eyes and felt herself melting further under his stare.

'I came by because when I'm not with you everything feels wrong. I feel so empty and without purpose. I think about you all the time and knowing that you are so close yet so far away-it kills me'. He sighed and then leaned forward and captured her lips with his own. She pushed him back and then grabbed the sides of his face and kissed his lips with a hunger that had never quite been satisfied until it was him kissing her back.

'What are we going to do Luke?' There it was the shortened form of his name rolling off her tongue as she snuggled into his side and gripped him closer to her.

'Well, I don't about you, but how does forever sound to you?'

'It sounds almost perfect, but I don't know how to do this?'


	5. When A No Feels Like A Yes

**Chapter 5, When A No Feels Like A Yes**

'Brooke, it's me. I really need to talk to you. It's about Luke. I think I've made a big mistake I really need to hear you voice and tell me what I should do'. Peyton hung up and then decided a day at the office sounded like pure hell. She grabbed her purse and keys and left. She could play hooky for the day and maybe get some sketching done.

Brooke got Peyton's message as soon as she touched down in Tree hill she was back a day early, problems all fixed and well now she was worried about the message. Peyton sounded weird on the phone. She caught a cab and called Peyton on the way, she was at home sketching and drinking-it sounded bad-it wasn't even noon yet.

' you had better have a reasonable excuse for not going to work and for drinking in the middle of the day. I leave for 3 days and you become Deb-what the hell is going on with you?' Brooke dumped her bags and saw the tears gathering at the corners of Peyton's eyes, she looked so broken it was all she could do to not break down herself.

'Hey, why all the tears? I'm home, everything is going to be alright, whatever it is-we'll get through it together ok?' Brooke just held onto her and picked up the bottle and swigged straight from it over her shoulder. Damn that felt good. She swallowed the whiskey down and pressed a kiss to her temple.

'Thanks Brooke, you always make things better. Come on let's have a drink and then we can both do some work'. Peyton stood up and made her way to the balcony, they spent the rest of the day talking and laughing, no one brought up broody but it was implied in everything they didn't say and for that Peyton felt glad.

'So, this is my new fall line, what do you think? I was going for rock chick flies back from Mexico with a hot musician slash my wayward best friend'. Brooke was priceless, Peyton just grinned and told her they were amazing and they would all be best sellers.

'So I know we haven't really talked about broody but we do need to at least figure out what you are going to do about him'.

'God Brooke, it's all such a mess. I want both of them, but I need Luke in a way I will never need Justin and that scares me more than anything'. Peyton sighed and rested her head against the deckchair, she the felt the burden of her past threatening to overwhelm her present.

'Honey, who do you picture your future with? Cos that's the only question that needs to be answered. If it's with Luke then you need to tell him, if it's with Justin then go be with him or if you need more time then just take your time. There is no time limit here, Luke has waited two years for you to come back, and he hasn't been with anyone since the divorce. He doesn't want anyone but you-that much is obvious'.

'I know that Brooke, but what if our love isn't enough? What if we destroy each other because we can't be enough for one another? Every time we get together something goes wrong-I can't survive another break up. I will not put myself through it-unless I know it's forever'.

'Peyton you don't have to decide this right this minute. You can take a few weeks to sort through it all, plus Luke has a long way to get back in your heart-gotta make him work for it'. Brooke smirked at Peyton and pulled her into a tight embrace, gently cupping the back of her head as she murmured soft reassurances in her ear.

'I need to decide Brooke, because the longer I leave it the harder it gets-you know. Every time I think I'm close to a decision my heart tells me to run. I can't keep living with this, it's tearing me in two'.

'Honey I know, but like I said before you don't have to make a decision today you can take a few and just let things play out. You're heart will tell you what you need, but you have got to give it time'.

Brooke sat next to Peyton on the couch and contemplated the many things that her friend was feeling right now, it was going to be a long road to happiness and it would never be an easy choice.

Peyton went to bed early and had a dreamless slumber; she awoke in the morning with less conviction and only more questions. She knew she loved Luke in a way that she could never love Justin, but that didn't make her choice an easy one, she didn't fully trust Luke with her heart. He would really need to prove himself and fight for her if he wanted a future with her.

She showered got changed and drove to the office, Luke was waiting for her when she arrived-he had a smile on his face and a gleam in his eye. She eyed him curiously, he looked mischievous and she really didn't know how to handle herself around him, any concession on her part and he would think this was going to be easy. She looked him up and down; his blue button down shirt was already making her a little hot under the collar.

'Hi Luke, what are you doing here this morning?'

'Hi Peyton, I have a free day and I thought we could spend the morning together talking and maybe even get some lunch-how about it?'

'I have a really busy afternoon, but I guess we could spend the morning together. I just need to do a couple of things first-come on up'

He watched her walk up the stairs to her office and he admired the way her hips swayed in her black pencil skirt, she could be wearing a rubbish sack and still somehow make it look sexy. He groaned in frustration it was going to be really difficult to keep his hands to himself, but he would respect her wishes and try not to kiss her.

She pushed open the door to her office and saw her assistant on the phone; it looked like the morning wouldn't be that busy. She strode into her office and closed the door softly after Luke had squeezed past her, she could smell his cologne and she had to stop herself from grabbing his collar and dragging him over to the pool table and just having her way with him. Okay so maybe it wasn't such a good idea having him in such close proximity but she really had no choice-they did have a lot to talk about after all.

She sat down at her desk and crossed her legs, she felt like she was doing something provocative, but it was just Luke being in her orbit that had her spinning off of her axis. She opened her laptop read some e-mails and replied. She conducted all her business in twenty minutes and snapped the lid shut. Luke had taken a position by the window and was gazing out into the distance lost in thought. She threw caution to the wind, she walked up behind him and put her arms around his waist, he didn't hesitate he spun her around and placed his lips on hers. She kissed him back before she realized what she was doing.

'Wait, wait. I'm sorry I can't do this to Justin. It's not fair to him and it's not fair to you'. She felt like she was going to cry all of a sudden.

'Peyton, it's ok. I meant what I said when I told you I would wait for you. I won't make you feel like this isn't what you want, and I won't make you a cheater either. You deserve better than that' He smiled into her eyes and she kissed his lips chastely, it was a silent thank you and perhaps even a promise of a future. He kissed her back and rested his forehead on hers. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled back, not a word was spoken, but the electricity between them was hard to deny. They would always react this way to one another it really didn't matter who they were with, it was just the connection between them was ironclad and had not faded over the years. It had only gotten stronger and it was a miracle that they had managed to keep their clothes on when they were around each other.

Luke groaned and reluctantly pulled himself away from her eyes, her scent, everything about her was drawing him in-they were in real danger of acting out a scene that would make anyone blush.

'Luke, I made my choice last night. I spoke to Brooke and well for now I'm going to be with Justin. I can feel us heading somewhere and I really want to explore where that can go, he might even be the one for me'.

Peyton had no idea what had prompted her to say that, she had meant to tell him that she was going to break up with Justin and that she would need some time to process it all. When it came right down to it, she was scared and Justin wouldn't hurt her-Luke would break her if she let herself be drawn back in-and she really was in love with Justin. She was also in love with Luke but she trusted herself more when she was around Justin he made her feel safe, he was also a little rough around the edges in a way that she found deeply sexy. He wasn't Luke but he made a damn good job of making her forget about him and she owed it to herself to see if this thing could work out.

Peyton figured if her and Luke were meant to be then Justin being here wouldn't make that much difference. Luke nodded his head and told her he respected her wishes for the time being, but he wasn't giving up on her.

They spent the morning together and any awkwardness had eased away under the comfortable banter they had always managed even before they were a couple. Peyton felt like it was right this time, she wasn't hurting anyone, she technically hadn't cheated on Justin yet and she felt good about building a healthier relationship with Luke.

They laughed and joked around, he lovingly teased her and there it was the very reason that she should be with him, she never giggled with Justin-sure she laughed but with Luke she giggled. She was playful and carefree; her soul lit up-but it could be a fleeting feeling and she really wanted to be able to trust him with her heart. Luke had a lot of time to make up for and if he was patient then just maybe he might get what he had always dreamed of, but he would need to be patient.

Justin arrived just after lunch, Luke had left by this point and it was just Peyton alone in her office, she was on the phone talking with a band manager for a potential band she thought she might want to sign, they had a great voice and she was excited.

She scheduled a meeting for Friday and hung up, she had a good feeling about this week and she couldn't keep the smile off her face. Today had been a great day, it just kept getting better. Justin smiled at her and pulled her into his arms, she kissed him long and slow and this kiss felt right too-but it just wasn't the same, she brushed aside her doubts and pulled him in closer and smiled as his hands gripped her waist. He sure knew how to make a girl feel sexy.

She took the afternoon off and hung out at the beach, it was a glorious day and she had been working all morning. Besides her sexy boyfriend had been reason enough to blow off the rest of the day, her office manager could handle things for a day, it wasn't a big deal.

Brooke came home from work and felt harassed, her day had started off really well that was until her mother called and summoned her to New York. She cursed and scared the hell out of her assistant after she had gotten off the phone, but it was typical of Victoria to behave in this manner. Brooke knew as soon as she set foot in Manhattan that the crisis would all but be over and she would have to schlep all the way back to Tree Hill because her mother thought there was a problem. No matter how much she had protested that Victoria could handle whatever it was, she had been summoned and therefore she would go.

'Peyton, are you home?' Brooke looked in the kitchen and saw Peyton stirring something at the stove, Justin was to the side of her cutting vegetables, they looked good together comfortable. Brooke knew Peyton had made her choice and that it was a good one for the time being, she would stay out of it. If she needed advice Brooke would be there when it all came apart at the seams-but for now she had too much of her own crap going on.

'Hey Brooke. Wow you look like hell, how was your day?'

'Thanks that's what every girl is dying to hear. I have to go to New York tonight, apparently the board has called a meeting and it has something to do with on of our factories overseas. I need to be there to overseer everything and make decisions about the direction of the company'.

'When do you have to go?'

'Now actually, I just came home to drop off some sketches and pack an overnight bag. I'll get a cab to the airport. See you in a week, if I haven't being charged for killing Bitchtoria'. Peyton laughed and pulled her friend into a hug, she rubbed her back and told her that if she needed anything all she had to do was call. Brooke nodded, headed to her room and was ready to go ten minutes later.

'Bye guys, have fun'. She closed the front door behind her and sighed in frustration, she really didn't want to go but she knew if she didn't Victoria would just keep calling her and make her come anyway.

The flight was quick and before she knew it she was in the back of a cab and on her way to her apartment building in Manhattan.

She closed her apartment door behind her and dropped her bags in the living room, she had never felt the need to drink her problems away but tonight she felt like a pulling a Peyton pre-Lucas love triangle again. She went to the fridge and got out a bottle of white wine, she uncorked it and poured herself a glass. It felt smooth and tasted fruity, she sat on the couch and felt the noises of Manhattan fill the silence of the apartment. It felt good to be back, this was a surprise to Brooke, but she had loved being here when she had first started out. It wasn't home in the same way that Tree Hill was, but it had this excitement to it that she just didn't feel anywhere else in the world.

Brooke wandered into her bedroom and sank into the mattress, she was exhausted, mentally physically and everything in between. She set the alarm for six and felt her eyes grow heavy with tiredness; she slept like the dead and woke up when the alarm started beeping at her. She had a Ferris Bueller moment where she considered playing hooky for the day and burrowing under the covers, but she knew her mother would just come over and harass her. She pulled herself out of bed and took a shower; she stood underneath the hot jets of water for ten minutes and felt somewhat revived. She dressed quickly and made some coffee, she was in her office and sitting behind her desk fifteen minutes later. Everything just seemed to go faster in New York, the harder she tried to relax the more frantic she became, it was a mess-Victoria had been right to call a shareholders meeting. They were being sued for running a sweatshop; apparently one of their managers had paid below minimum wage and made them all work long hours. She read over the report and felt herself shuddering at its contents.

Brooke called in the lawyers and set them to work, no one was to go home until they had a viable business plan, she tracked down the manager and fired him. She cleared out his desk and had security change all the locks and pass codes to the building, she also rung in a favour to a judge friend of hers and took out a restraining order against him, if he came within 10 feet of her or Clothes Over Bros headquarters he would be arrested and fined.

She felt a bit better after all this had been done, but there was still a thick quagmire of legal speak to get through. She met with Victoria and they discussed options, they spent the entire day prepping for the board meeting and going through the pros and cons of each scenario. It was a long day and all Brooke wanted to do was sleep and not think about the unholy mess they had managed to submerge themselves in. The meeting was finally over she rubbed a hand over her tired face and called it a day. It was 9pm, the day had flown by, and she gathered her briefcase and took a company car complete with driver back to her apartment. She couldn't be bothered with dinner and once again returned to the inner sanctum of her bedroom and got some much needed rest.


	6. For Today A Dream Come True

**For Today-A Dream Come True**

He kissed her again and whispered he loved her, and then he stood up and grabbed her hands with his. She stood up and pressed her smaller body into his larger one. He felt so right standing there pressed against her in all the right ways. She was lost in the feel of him and his hands were gripping her waist and tracing lazy circles that raised goose bumps on her flesh. Her heart was beating loudly in her chest and it felt a lot like coming home after the storm. All the hurt and regret from the past didn't matter in that moment all that really mattered was that there was a Luke and a Peyton and that's all that really mattered anymore.

He kissed her jaw line his favourite spot and she sighed into his arms, clothes were soon discarded. He slipped his pants off and she pushed him up against the wall, her legs hooked around his waist as his lips left searing sensations down her neck and chest. She mewled low in her throat and he felt the heat spike between them.

They both murmured bedroom at the same time, he walked her to her bed and laid her down gently. He stood over her; she was wearing just a bra and panties he was left in just his boxers. He stared down at her and felt all the love and longing for her over the years spill over, he could feel the emotions of the moment gather in the pit of his stomach and he felt nervous. She was everything to him and he didn't want to let her go for another second. He knew if they took this step there would be no going back for either of them. He would be lost without her and he knew that this was an important moment for both of them. He asked her with his eyes if she was ready. Her pupils darkened and she reached up and pulled him down on top of her. He lay there feeling her press herself into him in the most delicious way and all he could do was stare at her.

Her eyes were spilling over with her love for him and she too felt nervous about this step they were taking. They had never done things in the right order, it was always their emotions and feelings for one another that had over ridden decorum and taking things slow. But he was her Luke and she was his Peyton and there wasn't really anything else to say. Their love had been written since before time, they were destined to fall in love, other people were merely distractions until these two finally got it together.

He kissed her deeply and found her tongue intertwine with his own, she needed him, she wanted only him.

He flipped them over so that she was astride him, she leant down and left a trail of flaming kisses down to his boxer shorts waistband, she then slowly glided them down his legs and he sat up, he found her lips and kissed her as she shrugged the last of her own clothing off.

She stood up and went and lay down next to him she turned on her side and kissed him, he pulled her closer so that she was nestled beneath him. He bent over her and whispered,

'Are you sure?' She looked into his eyes and found the answer she was looking for.

'Yes, Luke I've never been more sure of anything'. He kissed her gently and then pressed himself slowly into her body. He paused at her entrance and then so very gently he slipped into her, he could feel her warmth and tightness wrap around him. He thrust slowly and she bucked her hips in rhythm to him, he kissed her breasts and then her lips and whispered I love you's against her lips. She told him she would never love another. He waited for her to find her pace and then he picked up speed, she moaned his name loudly and he felt himself get harder as their bodies became slick with sweat.

They made love all morning and he finally felt like the parts of him that had been missing were finally returned to him. They lay tangled together, her legs slung over his and her head resting over his heart her arms were strewn across his body and he pulled her so that she was half lying on top of him. She murmured in her sleep and kissed his chest. Even in sleep she was affectionate. He pressed a kiss to her temple and pulled the blankets over their naked bodies and felt sleep overcome him.

This time his dreams were full of a life with Peyton and there were gorgeous blond kids running around, there were slow dances beneath the moon and there was love. She held a wine glass in her left hand and the moon caught the ring she wore making it glint and sparkle, it was her wedding ring, it was her promise of a forever with the man whose arms were almost always wrapped tightly around her.

He was holding court on the wrap around porch, Peyton was standing on the lawn, she had a flower in her hair and she was glowing, she was pregnant with their second child and she had never looked more beautiful to him. She turned when she felt his eyes on her, he made her heart skip a beat every time she looked at him, and she motioned for him to join her. He stepped off the porch and walked over to his wife, Peyton was his wife, she was the mother of his children and he felt like the happiest guy knowing that everything they had been through had gotten them to this point. He bent down and peppered her stomach with kisses and whispered I love yous across her belly. She giggled and pulled him up to meet his lips with her own.

'I love you Mr Scott'

'I love you too Mrs Scott'. He kissed her with abandon and then wrapped her tightly in his arms. She sighed into his embrace and told him to never leave her. He promised he wasn't going anywhere.

Lucas woke up and stretched his arm across the bed, it was cold to the touch and he suddenly felt afraid. What if last night had been a dream-all of it? What if Peyton had changed her mind? He really didn't know how he would go on if that were the case.

'You're awake, hi babe'. She glided into the room dressed in just a tiny pair of shorts and a tank top. She looked undeniably sexy, with her hair all tangled from sleep.

'Hey, I thought you'd changed your mind for a second there' He smiled as she settled herself firmly in his lap and kissed him on the lips.

'Now why would I go and do a thing like that'. He kissed her back and held her close to his chest. She stroked his chest and murmured something about a shower. He grinned at her and said how about they both have one together. She tugged his hand and he stood up, completely naked, she just stared at him and felt tingles all over. God he was just breath taking, even after having seen him naked all morning he still made her gasp low in her throat and go a little weak in every part of her body.

'See something you like Peyt?' Luke teased her; she hadn't moved an inch since he had stood up.

'What? Um…yeah, come on stud let's go have that shower'. Peyton just brushed his comment off and pulled him toward the bathroom. He clasped her hand and then pressed her against the wall. His hands gripped her waist and she could feel him all over her, and through her, he had somehow in the space of 6 hours managed to become a huge part of who she was-the only thing left to do was to kiss him like she meant it.

They made it to the bathroom 3 minutes later after some pretty heavy petting and groping on both their parts, he had wanted to stand right there and take her but she really wanted a shower. Plus a naked Luke drenched in water it didn't get much hotter than that. She waited for the water to heat up enough so that they could both enjoy a long soak. He stood behind her and kissed her neck, he left a trail of kisses and then he lifted his T-shirt off of her and turned her so she was facing him.

'God Peyton, when did you get so beautiful. I've always known how stunning you were, but right now you look amazing. Happiness looks good on you'. He smiled into her lips and pulled her in for a searing kiss, effectively stifling any attempts on her part to refute his statement or make a sarcastic comment. Instead she just wrapped her legs around him and he stepped into the shower with her clinging to his body and making him feel even harder than he already was. Her legs were his greatest weakness, having them wrapped around him and her pressing herself so close to him, it was like he had been given a second chance at life. He would never take this for granted ever again.

The shower lasted a lot longer than it really should have and Peyton's phone had been ringing off the hook for the last twenty minutes but she was preoccupied and really couldn't muster the strength to care. Whoever it was she would call them back and well she was too wrapped up in how Luke was touching her and kissing her. He had her back against the wall and her legs were hooked around his waist they were taking their time getting back to their rhythm and it felt pretty fucking good.

'No more, Luke stop I need a breather. God knows I love you honey-but I actually need to work today and as much as I would love to stay here all day and do that and everything else. I really can't, plus I really need to have a conversation with Justin. He needs to know that we aren't gonna be together'. Luke kissed her temple and eased her down gently, she soaped her skin and washed the shampoo out and then soaped him and they both started laughing. If they were in close proximity they were in trouble.

'Peyton, I love you. Thank you for giving me a second chance at us. You're all I ever wanted'. He kissed her lips and then grabbed some towels; they towelled off and dressed quickly. He kept wandering over to her as she was buttoning up her shirt and stealing kisses, she kept toying with the collar of his shirt and pulling him closer to her, they almost didn't make it out of the house for the third time that morning.

'Ok, Luke I mean it this time. Stop we have to go it's already 9.00 am I should be at the office already and don't you have practice with Nate?'

'Yes I should be at work, but you were worth being late for, I would have missed everything today if it meant I got to be with you'. She smiled at him and pulled him into a searing and passionate kiss that left them both a little breathless.

He touched his lips and just breathed out a 'wow'. 'I'll call you later babe, have a great day ok?'

'Luke?'

'Yeah, I kinda like you, you know that?' Peyton smiled at him.

'I'm certainly warming up to you-which is a good thing seeing as we are going to be getting married soon'. Luke just smirked and watched her pupil's darken-he had never seen that look before well only in his visions of her in their future.

Peyton swallowed her surprise down and gasped, 'What?'

'Peyton, you and I will get married, why fight the inevitable. It's what we both know is eventually going to happen. I just don't want to wait any longer to call you my wife'.

She smiled at him and hugged him. She felt terrified at this revelation, she did want to be his wife someday, but she also wanted to get to know him again. She wasn't sure if she was ready for marriage but that was another conversation for another day and besides he hadn't really proposed to her yet.

They left in separate cars and he blew her a kiss as he tore out of her driveway and went to work. She smiled at him and felt herself let go for a little while. The guilt hit her as soon as she sat in her office and opened her laptop; there was a message from Brooke and one from Justin. He told her he was going to be at his house for the rest of the day jamming with the guys and writing songs. She sighed in relief, she couldn't face him just yet, she needed to talk to Brooke and figure out the best way to handle this situation.

She got to the office and opened up her laptop, there was a lot to do today and she really didn't feel like doing any of it. She took out her sketchpad and settled herself comfortably on the pool table. She drew a heart breaking in two and the figures in the background were of Luke and Justin. The caption read, 'Which one?' She felt the tears well up and before she knew it she was crying, she had made her choice and it was a difficult one but in the end the heart wants what it wants, damn the consequences. She packed her stuff up and left the office.

Peyton sat in the Comet and felt the tide of the years wash over her, there had never really been a choice to make, she liked to fool herself that there had been, she turned the key in the ignition and drove towards her destiny.

She cut the engine and got out of the car, now that the choice had been made she wanted to kiss her way to her fate and know that she had made the right choice. She crossed the pavement and pushed open the doors, she walked down the halls and stopped outside. Her heart was beating madly in her chest and she felt a small smile grace her delicate features, she could hear movement coming from within the office and could hear a low muttering, she placed her hand on the doorknob and turned it.

Luke could smell her before he saw her, she had that delicious scent of lavender and vanilla and all things good and sweet. She smelled like a small piece of heaven, he smiled in to her face and saw her happiness radiating from her.

'Hi Peyton' He stood in front of her and waited for whatever it was she had come here to tell him.

She closed the distance between them and rested her hands at her sides, she almost didn't know where to begin, this moment was so huge that she didn't want to rush it, she wanted to drink it all in and savour it.

'Luke, I made a decision today and I think it's for the best. I'm going to marry Justin, he proposed this morning and I said yes-she couldn't stop smiling'. Luke felt the earth beneath him shifting and he lost all sense of who he was, he leaned into his desk and couldn't catch his breath.

Peyton walked towards him and palmed his face with her hands, she gently pressed her lips to his and saw the surprise come over his features, and he kissed her back and then pulled back.

'Just kidding babe, it's always been you. I gave you something of mine a long time ago and you stubbornly refused to give it back. So I guess what I'm saying is, will you be mine for the rest of my life?' She looked up eagerly into his face and saw the confusion in his eyes.

'No, but will you be mine for the rest of my life?'

She grabbed his collar and pulled him into a kiss, he ran his tongue eagerly over the seam of her lips and she opened her mouth a little more and soon they were involved in a pretty heated kiss. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist and he placed her on his desk. He took his rightful place between her legs and felt her squeeze his sides. Every single thing she did had the most delicious effect on him, she would look at him and bite her bottom lip and he almost lost it.

He kissed her and she wrapped her legs around him, she tugged on the bottom of his shirt and slipped her hands beneath the cotton, she felt the tingles as soon as her hands made contact, god he was sexy. He groaned into her jaw line where he had been peppering kisses, he felt her twitch in his embrace and it felt a little like coming home.

'Peyt, I really want this, you me an us, but I want it to be right this time. Have you spoken to Justin yet? Peyton looked into his eyes and shook her head.

'I needed to see you first, I couldn't start my new life until I knew how it was going to go-now that I know, I'm going to leave before things get to a point where I couldn't stop even if I wanted to'. He breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly, her saying things like that to him only made it that much harder to pull away from her. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and kissed her long and slow, it was a promise and an invitation for later-all good things come to those who wait. She moaned into his mouth and felt herself slip closer to the point of no return.

'Ok stop, Luke I want you-but we need to do this the right way'. She hopped off the desk and he placed a kiss to her forehead.

'Peyton, I love you and no matter how long it takes I'll wait for you' She walked back over to him and kissed him deeply on the lips and smiled against his lips as she pulled away from him.

'I love you too Lucas Scott. I'll call you later'. She blew him a kiss and swayed her hips as she got to the door.

'Not so fast Blondie. He swung her round and captured her lips with his own. She squealed in surprise and sunk into the kiss.

'Ok, now I really do have to go, I'll see you later Mister'. She opened the door and blew him a kiss; he smiled at her and felt like finally everything had snapped back into place. She had chosen him, he had never felt happier than he did right there in that moment. He needed a day off; he called Nathan and made up some excuse about needing some time to think. Nate said sure thing he and Skills could take over practice-he said he would be there for the game but he had some things he needed to take care of.

'Say Hi to Peyton for me Luke' Nate hung up before Luke could think of a reply.

He drove home and changed into something a little dressier, he had on dark blue jeans and a midnight blue button down shirt, he went across to his sock drawer and pulled out Keith's ring, he gazed at it and knew now that it had only ever been meant for one person.

Peyton found Justin alone in his house, she told him that she couldn't do this anymore and that although she loved him she wasn't in love with him. He looked at her and nodded his head and said that she had been everything he had always imagined he ever wanted but he understood that her heart had been conflicted and he didn't want her choosing him because she couldn't be brave enough to follow her heart.

'I loved you Peyton, but even I knew this was never going to be a lifetime thing. I'm glad you were honest with me, I kinda have feelings for someone else so I think we both managed to emerge from this virtually unscathed'.

'Thanks Justin, whoever she is-she's one lucky girl. I wish you all the best Justin'. She kissed him on the cheek and hugged him close.

'I'll be seeing you at the studio Monday bright and early'. She took one last look around her and left his house, she felt as though a weight had been lifted. She could finally be where her heart had always resided.


	7. Our Hearts Finally Together

Chapter 7, Our Hearts Finally Together

A/N: Ok faithful readers this is the last instalment of this story. I thank each and every one of you loyal followers. I hope you have enjoyed the journey as much as I have, I could be persuaded to write a sequel but I don't know at this stage. I may be starting a new job and if I get it-my time won't be own anymore and I will be concentrating more on my novels than fanfic so it's really up to you guys. If you want a sequel let me know by reviewing.

Peyton drove to Luke's house, she had her heart on her sleeve and it felt pretty damn good, today would mark the start of their lives together. She could finally be with him without fear or hurting someone else in the pursuit of what she wanted. Brooke was no longer an obstacle to her heart's desire; in fact she had a pretty good idea of just whom Justin was referring to, who wouldn't fall in love with Brooke. She was pretty amazing when she wasn't busting balls and being an annoying matchmaker.

She cranked up the sound on the stereo and her hair flew out behind her, it felt liberating and calming-just her and her car and the many miles ahead of her. She knew that they had a lot to talk to about, not least the hurt from the past and the mistakes they had made with each other but how they intended to move forward. She still wanted to live with Brooke and she had no idea how he would respond to this, Peyton just didn't want to fast forward their relationship and move in too soon. She wanted dates that ended in walks along the beach, she wanted kisses underneath a starry sky, she needed the slow burn of their love so that she could be 100% sure that this was forever. Her entire future rested upon this ideal and she wasn't willing to compromise.

Luke stood in his bedroom, he was pacing, and his stomach was churning. He had the ring in his pocket and he kept jiggling it, he couldn't decide if it was the right time to propose or not. The way he looked at it, she was always going to be in his life, so why wait until later to do what he had wanted since the age of eighteen and he had messed it all up in the ideals of youth. He wanted a forever and he got a broken heart, he didn't want to wait any longer, she knew how much he loved her-everything else was just a formality.

She parked her car in his driveway, she sat for a moment in the Comet and took a deep breath, the weight of the years had flown off her shoulders the closer she got to Luke's. It didn't really matter what problems they had in the past, she had realized as she drove that the future was the only thing she was interested in. Rehashing old hurts wouldn't change how she felt now, she wouldn't demand that they go over their mistakes, she had moved on from that.

Her time away had taught her to be strong in ways she had never really been before, she was tested in that time away-she came back whole but with only half her heart-Luke had always had the other half and it took being away and coming back for her to realize that. Her relationship with Justin had been a good one, he was just what she had needed, without coming back would have been that much harder, she knew that now. She was relieved that he hadn't held the break up against her, they had both realized that it was a mistake and emerged unscathed-it made her being with Luke more special-she knew someone else wasn't going to be broken-hearted.

She stepped out of her car and shouldered her handbag; she stepped onto the porch and pushed open his bedroom door. Luke was standing with his back to her and his hand was on the back of his neck, it was one of two things either he was nervous or he was tired. She hoped it was the first.

'Hi babe' She stepped toward him and he turned around. He had a huge smile on his face.

'Hi yourself' He pressed his lips to hers and grasped her hips a little tighter as she clutched her closer. She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, he tasted of basketball and apples an unusual coupling but he always drank juice after coaching-it was his thing.

'How come you look nervous?' She leaned back and stared him in the eyes, his eyes held a look she had seen only once before, she smiled at him as if to reassure him.

'Peyton I've made mistakes with you, it seems as though when it was about you I made the biggest. I was young and I was scared and I didn't know that by proposing to you-it would end things for us. Had I known that I would have waited. You have always been worth the wait and I'm sorry it took me nearly four years to say that to you' He had a tear in his eye and although she didn't need to hear the apology it still felt pretty great hearing it.

'It's ok Luke, you know on the way over here I thought about everything that happened between us. So, even though it's been painful for both of us maybe we needed that time apart so that when we did get back together we would be sure that it would work. I think I've always known it would be you, I could fool myself for a while and pretend that it was ok to be contented but no one else makes me feel like you do'.

He took a moment and stared at her, she wasn't sad or upset, she was happy and somehow that made it ok for him. He knew then that what they had was for good.

'Peyton, will you come somewhere with me?'

'Yes….' She had a sneaking suspicion that something else this had been on the tip of his tongue, she kissed him and smiled against his lips.

They got into his Mustang and drove to the Rivercourt, there was no one around and it felt peaceful. He stood in the middle of the court and told her that this was the first moment when he realized that he loved her. She tucked a curl behind her ear and smiled at him.

'I knew then even at the age of sixteen that you and I would be something one day. I loved you so much and you barely knew my name' She giggled at his confession, she had felt something that night too, but she had been in a relationship that was swiftly going from bad to worse. She hadn't wanted to feel what she felt so she had been a bitch instead.

'You were so mean to me, but I figured it was all part of your charm. I knew then that you were just putting up a front to cope with whatever you were going through'. She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him, it felt like the first time again.

'I will always love you Peyt, no one else has ever come close to being where you have always been in my heart. You staked a claim on it a long time ago, I was just foolish and young and made too many mistakes to make it right with you. I'm so glad you gave me a second chance. Just being here with you again where it all began, it feels right this time with us. I want to be selfish in my love for you, it's been too damn long. I don't want to wait anymore for something I know will be forever.

He took a deep breath and pulled her closer, he got down on one knee and heard her gasp low in her throat. She may have known what was coming, but his words and the way he was looking at her-made her go a little weak in the knees. She was a fool for this boy she had always been, it felt amazing when she was with him and suddenly waiting seemed like the worst idea in the world. She looked down at him and he spoke softly.

Will you marry me?'

'Yes, I love you so much. Of course I'll marry you'

He opened the ring box and slid Keith's ring on her finger.

'I kept this since LA. I couldn't bring myself to give it to Lindsey it was only ever meant for you and I think I always knew that'

'It's beautiful Luke, I'm glad you never gave it to someone else'. She stared down at the ring on her finger and things didn't seem so scary anymore. She was his and he was hers-and it all sounded kinda perfect. He stood up and kissed her lips, she cupped the back of his head and pulled him closer to her, the stars glowed brightly framed by the two lovers and suddenly everything was in its right place. There would be no more sneaking around, it would just be the two of them and maybe more after that, she didn't really care when it happened but she was certain that her children would be just like Luke. She had pictured them for years and now she could finally get started on making it a reality. He smiled as he saw the cogs in her mind turning he was thinking of the future too, he could tell by the look in her eyes that she was picturing something pretty damn great-truth be told he was too.

_**-Fin**_


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